Guided in the Dark

    A final reflection on Learning to Walk in the Dark.

   We are birthed in the darkness and brought forth into an even harsher darkness, but one day the darkness will give way to the Light. 

   I set my feet in a dark world, often not of my choosing. I was born here, but without a choice of my landing pad. Yet the direction I embark upon, is entirely of my own choosing. Or is it? Search and Rescue Coordinators inform me, that years ago people always headed down when lost. They descended in search of water. But today, when lost, we are likely to scramble up, seeking a cell signal. When I'm lost, what direction do I point my compass? I'm an up kind of girl, when I'm not down, that is. When lost, many questions are posed: should I look inward, outward, or upward? What's my bearing: men, me, or the Messiah? What do I listen and look for, when lost in the woods? It's tempting to sit and scream into a dark wood. But maybe, being lost is the way to finding found.

    They will not hunger or thirst, neither will mirage [mislead] or scorching wind or sun smite them; for He Who has mercy on them will lead them, and by springs of water will He guide them. Isaiah 49:10 (AMP)

   Maybe the paths I wander, searching for (living) water, remind me of other yearnings within that require filling. I am thirsty for connection with God and others. Maybe the thirst, if I listen, will point to a spring in the wilderness. A wild spring, hidden and discovered, only when I am thirsty enough to stumble down paths not normally taken. Desperate thirst causes me to look and listen for the Light in the woods that shows the way through, and desperate thirst enables deep filling. Be still. But, there's always something rattling around in the woods that scares me stiff. Maybe what threatens is simply an illusion or an impostor?

   I meander up to the house, lost in thought. The call of a hawk, down low and near, startles me. Is he there, in the fir? Looking through the dim light, reveals a pesky and mischievous blue jay. He is a threat to no one: not mouse, kitten, chicken, and of course not men. But for one moment, I'm sure the sound of this presence is ominous for a beloved pet; it's simply an illusion. Much of what is spoken over you and I in this life feels like a curse, or even worse, is a curse. Words. They rattle us in the dark. But, these words will not alight. What rests upon us will be words of Life. Breathing and living. Creating and caring. Safe in the woods.

    You have as little to fear from an undeserved curse as from the dart of a wren or the swoop of a swallow. Proverbs 26:2 (MSG)

Prayers muttered in the darkness of procedure rooms and answers...

   I abide in the darkness. You can too. Peace is possible in the unknown, which is pregnant with possibilities. You know fear in the darkness, but I know only light. In the darkness, let my light lead you. I will never leave you nor forsake you. My plans are perfect for you – you are being perfected in my plans for you. Though you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, fear no evil, for I am with you. Your darkness is not dark to me, it is an opening into the ways of Life. Reality is not as it always seems. Sometimes there is more to darkness than meets the eye. You have to look with the eyes of your heart in order to see what is Real. My paths of darkness lead to ever greater Light. I am healing inner places. They are not dark to me. I will do exceedingly beyond all that you ask or imagine if you will trust me. Walk confidently into the darkness. I AM there.

   Thankful...a young girl on the eve of her 11th birthday who handled an MRI with IV and barium and contrast well. For the dove that met us on the wire at the car shop before the MRI, for the loaner Rover to take up to the hospital, for the gal in the waiting area who taught C another crochet stitch as she waited for procedures, for the dove that flew right in front of us three times in the cafeteria window, for a finished and ready Rover upon return to the shop, for being able to stop at almost 70 mph when the guy in front of me slammed on his brakes (For who knows what, I wasn't tailgating.), for the sky that opened up and gave us a glimpse of divine light and shining blue on an otherwise pouring day, for a watered garden, so I didn't have to water or think of plants, for the rainbow over the line of firs last night, for the deer in the yard, and for a birthday. So very blessed.

They will say of me, ‘In the Lord alone are deliverance and strength. Isaiah 45:24