Bookends: I Will Carry You, the Sacred Dance of Grief and Joy by Angie Smith

Three days ago I was listening to Selah. I was thinking of Angie and Todd Smith's story. Again, today, I am nudged to share this resource. 

I Will Carry You, the Sacred Dance of Grief and Joy by Angie Smith

From Amazon

In 2008, Angie Smith and her husband Todd (lead singer of the group Selah) learned through ultrasound that their fourth daughter had conditions making her “incompatible with life.” Advised to terminate the pregnancy, the Smiths chose instead to carry this child and allow room for a miracle. That miracle came the day they met Audrey Caroline and got the chance to love her for the precious two-and-a-half hours she lived on earth.

Upon receiving the original diagnosis, Angie started a blog (Bring the Rain) to keep family and friends informed of their journey. Soon, the site exploded in popularity, connecting with thousands who were either experiencing their own heartbreaking situations or simply curious about how God could carry someone through something so tragic. I Will Carry You tells the powerful story of a parent losing her child, interwoven with the biblical story of Lazarus to help those who mourn to still have hope—to find grace and peace in the sacred dance of grief and joy.

Advent Crying

White falls on the world.
And the world, she pales,
at the cry of her babies. 

And mothers heave,
and fathers tear in two.

The world is white, but it is not quiet.
It screams, with terror and the terrible.

The world weeps,  

and the only answer for her is the Word.

Come Lord, be our Comforter.

Nurse us in the bosom of your love.

Save us, Lord. 

Heal us, Lord.
Oh Lord forgive your people, 

for we know not what we do.

Advent and the Manger

image from the Vatican

Why does the manger matter so much to men?
Because the manger means men matter to God.
The manger means He's one of us.
God with us. 
God for us.
The Son arrives in the dark manger,
that you and I might find soul food in the stable.

Happy St. Lucia Day

It's 6 am for pete's sake! Why does this woman always have a camera in hand? I'm not awake yet and I'm not amused. I just saw my brother go down the hallway. He's supposed to be in bed. Doesn't he know I'm supposed to bring him the light?

Happy St. Lucia Day!

Listening?

Selah, Rose of Bethlehem

Grieving this season?

Selah has a powerful testimony.

Read Audrey's Story.

I will Carry You: The Sacred Dance of Grief and Joy by Angie Smith

Twinkling?

The tiny white tree.

Doing?

Catching up on life.

Decorating small douglas fir tree.

Baking.

Smiling.

Light the Lights!

The lights of Hanukkah, mean so much to so many.

 A homemade menorah

The Lord is my light and my salvation-

whom shall I fear?

The Lord is the stronghold of my life-

of whom shall I be afraid?

Psalm 27:1

  לְדָוִד:    יְהוָה, אוֹרִי וְיִשְׁעִי--מִמִּי אִירָא;א

 יְהוָה מָעוֹז-חַיַּי,    מִמִּי אֶפְחָד. 

Translation Here

 

 Playing dreidel is always fun.

Especially, if you come away with the gelt!

Recommending

I wanted to do a big Hanukkah meal this year. 

It didn't happen, but we did make latkes and brussel sprouts last night.

I've made this latke recipe two years in a row.

The panko really makes a difference. 

These are very crispy!

I don't yet have a brussel sprout recipe the kids will eat willingly!

Advent Subversion

Subversion:  the act of subverting : the state of being subverted; especially : a systematic attempt to overthrow or undermine a government or political system by persons working secretly from within

I knew subversion was my word and yesterday I engaged in some. Searching for a few library books on my kid list, I found the Christmas display stuffed with books about Santa, mice, moles, gophers, bears, children, reindeer, knights, and a plethora of other creatures celebrating Christmas. Nary, a nativity book was on the Christmas stack. Ironically, I was searching for, If You're Missing Baby Jesus. Yes, folks, baby Jesus has definitely gone missing.  But, you can find Him if you are willing to search a bit. 

And I ponder how Jesus came into the world, subversively. Out to change and challenge all mankind to something higher and sweeter, but definitely not safer. No, definitely not safer. And Santa may be sweet and stout, but he comes up short. Santa offers no lasting solutions to the choices and conflicts children face today. Santa is silent when asked, "Who will love me for who I am?" Only the I AM, can answer, "I love you with a deep and everlasting love." Jeremiah 31 Only God's gifts are timeless and without end.

I quietly pulled nativity books off library shelves and placed them with the stacks of Santa books. I might get coal from Santa this year, but I'm willing to risk it. Read a nativity book this year with someone you love.

Because the heavens should open up in a library. 

 St. Gallen Library Switzerland.

Amazing.

Opening up books for the soul.

Picture source unknown to me. From tumblr.

Advent Alevins

Our Monday morning began at the chilly creek. Advent alevins, now fry, were ready for release in our watershed. In the cold, dark, and deep they will seek safety, buried snug in a watery world, until they begin their long journey to the ocean.

Dishing up fish.

 Hey, there's fish in my cup!

The kids have been caring for these fish for about 8 weeks. They've charted fish growth and water temperature all while interacting with our community at the local water conservation office. (Some days that went better than others!) 

As I ponder these tiny fish, I find myself asking a question. In an oftentimes overwhelming world, how do we grow confidence and care in children? How do we get them confidently on their way to the ocean? How do we help them care about small moments? Surely, it's the little things that count. Each moment matters. Each person matters. Each tiny fry matters. We are not to despise small beginnings, or what masquerades as a small moment. 
 
Zechariah 4:10

Tiny fry have something to teach us. Now in the creek, finally released from their small controlled tank, they will make an incredible journey. Navigating waterways and obstructions, they will find a way to thrive in their watery world. They are little, but they will swim strong.

After creek adventures, children head to school and so do I. I help a young reader with his reading assessment. I can't read him his reading assessment, so we talk about what he does know that will allow him to succeed when he reads.  I can try to instill confidence, and I may or may not succeed.

I can't tell him about Christ, but I can try to care. I can't tell him to pray before he works on his paper. I always tell my own children to pray. I want to share, "let God be your calm when you are anxious", but I can't.


Little boy with future looming large and many streams to swim, reminds me that Christ is enough. Christ is confidence. Christ is for us. Whether I can utter His name or not. Christ cares so much for little boys, He became one. Surely, Christ remembers being assessed. And Christ is with us in all our moments. He is praying for us, when we don't know what or how to pray. 

Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding (praying) for us. 

Romans 8:35

Christ cares about little schools of fish swimming their way to the ocean, little boys, and reading assessments. Let us work to seek confidence from Christ, for He cares for us.