Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Raising Boys to Become Men Who Thrive

 Petroglyph Lake (and wall), Hart Mountain Wildlife Refuge, Oregon

I recently finished reading Swagger, 10 Urgent Rules for Raising Boys... by Lisa Bloom. I'm not sure it provoked anything but grimness in my soul. I won't review it further, but if need your cup half emptied, go ahead and read it. 

I found much more hope in The Heart Grows Smarter by David Brooks of the New York Times.

An excerpt:

It’s not that the men who flourished had perfect childhoods. Rather, as Vaillant puts it, “What goes right is more important than what goes wrong.” The positive effect of one loving relative, mentor or friend can overwhelm the negative effects of the bad things that happen. 

In case after case, the magic formula is capacity for intimacy combined with persistence, discipline, order and dependability. The men who could be affectionate about people and organized about things had very enjoyable lives. 

Raising sons (and daughters) is not for the faint of heart. More often than not, I'm overwhelmed by days that go by to fast and are filled with a complexity that my simple mind can't grasp. Lord, help us raise them well. Help them thrive, not just survive. Surely, raising children (and growing up ourselves) is a day by day lesson in grasping grace. Some days we do it better than others.


Sheldon Hot Springs, Nevada

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