Book Notes: Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes...by Turansky and Miller (Part Two)

The past few days we have been taking this book for a test run. Literally. Isn't it amazing how the moment you implement new ideas and disciplines, the kids notch up their stress and strife?

 

This is the lovely and heart warming note brother woke up to yesterday. 

Brother woke to the above note yesterday. Sister and I were out feeding the animals, and I began to hear crying from the porch. Welcome to a wonderful day! So much for respecting me and honouring brother, as I had specifically told sister I would tell brother about the demise of his sea monkeys. Ugh. The day got better and better. After a school open house, and a melt down at the park, they came home and spent two hours in their rooms. Thankfully, by evening things had smoothed out. If you try these ideas, be prepared for kick back. Count on it! Further, plan on working on your own attitude a whole lot. Because you will be tested more than the kids!

Okay, here we go...

Part Two Notes

There is a difference between respect and honour. Respect is based on the concept of phobos. Phobos is related to the word phobia and is based on fear, i.e., we respect someone because of what they can do to us. A police officer would be an example of someone we respect because of the consequences he/she can impose on us if we disobey the law. However, honour is based on the Greek word timae, which is related to the concept and idea of worth or value. We honour someone when we recognize their inherent worth or value.

I love this statement: The real measurement of the growth of someone is the growth rate around their heart, not their height.

When you see dishonour as a parent we should:

-Identify the wrong behaviour in the child.
-Identify the heart issue (anger, frustration, jealousy, etc....) at work.
-Identify with the child what a positive heart attitude should look like.
-Identify the right action/behaviour you require of the child. 
-Follow through.

I love to tell the kids: Let's think about, what it is, we think about. If only that were easy to do! But, it is a beginning to understanding our actions, and therefore changing them when necessary. 

Dinner time explorations:

Where should honour be given? Look up Romans 13:7
What does the fear or reverence of God look like? Look up 1 Peter 2:17
What does honour of God look like? Look up Revelations 4:11

If you want children to fly straight, teach them obedience.
If you want to teach them to fly high, teach them honour.

Love, love, love that!

Notes on Labour for Your Labour Day

Cease striving and know that I am God; 
I will be exalted among the nations. 
I will be exalted in the earth....
Psalm 46:10

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labour or spin.  Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendour was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Mathew 6:25-34 

Book Notes: Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes by Turansky and Miller

Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes at Amazon

Kim's Notes Part 1

I have gleaned so much from Say Goodbye..., I thought I would go ahead and post my notes online. That said, I will not share all my notes, as I feel that would be unfair to the authors. Many of my notes are direct quotes from the book, I've italicized those.

Showing someone honour is a gift.

I loved their idea of gift wrapping bags of dirt and candy bars  (separately) and then giving them out at the dinner table. They suggest using these gifts as a launch pad to discuss honour. I want to try this with our kids, using these items to talk about the kind of presents they like to give and receive. It's a great lesson in looking at what we give others with our attitudes, actions, and conversation. Sweetness or dirt?

Look up Mark 6:1-6, what does this verse say about honour?

Also, James 2:1-6, What does this verse say about a form of honour that is wrong?

Reminder to self: Just teach it. Don't expound on it toooooo much!

Tolerance + Patience = Honour and it adds a bit of grace to all our interactions.

Children do not grow out of bad habits, they grow into them. Counteracting bad habits is crucial. (Wow, ain't that the truth!)

Honour is the oil in the machine of family life. Honour allows for less friction and more grace in our daily workings and interactions.

Look up: Romans 12:10

Idea: Put butcher paper on the dining room table and write things we are grateful for before supper. Grace our table with gratitude. 

We also talked about our prayer times with the Lord. On nights we don't know what to thank God for (maybe we are just too tired and spent), we could simply begin our prayer time by praising God for those things we so often take for granted. I challenged the kids to thank the Lord for at least eight or ten things, their ages, as they lay in bed. When they meet that number, I encouraged them to see how many more things they could thank the Lord for before they fall asleep.

 

I love how the concept of honour (at least to me) is connected with gratefulness. Honouring others must begin with gratitude for others. Let's be intent on growing gratitude in our hearts, for it will never grow on its own. You and I must choose to plant the seed of gratitude in our soul soil if we want it in our garden. The fruit? Grace and gratefulness live in our lives. We grow in peace, and I dare say contentment. 

Okay, enough for one day. I'm getting too wordy. It's my intention to keep the blog short and sweet! Blessings to you on your parenting journey this day. Remember, it is a journey, not a destination. The destination is wholly and soully God's work :-)

 ~Kim

To be continued in a day or two....

Canning Season

The hammock hangs empty, this time of year.

Canning season is in full gear and I keep telling myself, "Simplify people, simplify!" What does that look like? I left the skins on my peaches this year. It will be alright. Really, it will. The last few years, I gave away many of our tomatoes and apples - the crop to much for me to handle. But, this year, we are both sharing and shelving, and very grateful for what the Lord bestows.

We've been delighted to find new crops to harvest, for a few trees are finally mature enough to bear. Some of these trees, we didn't plant and didn't know what they were, and it's been fun to walk through the garden and knock my head on something new.

  The birds usually get these first.

We will see who wins this year.

My vote is with the birds.

The bees adore sunflowers. 

Let's all plant some. 

Maybe it will prevent bee colony collapse.

In our third year here, I look around me and think of Isaiah 37: 30

 “This year you will eat what grows by itself,
    and the second year what springs from that.
But in the third year sow and reap,
    plant vineyards and eat their fruit.

I am grateful for the fruit the Lord bestows. It is He alone, that makes the bud to bear. I am grateful that our enemy who rages against us, who threatens our peace and joy, is destroyed at the Cross. The love of God will have the final word, when all the world is a rage. His words will bear fruit: hope and deliverance. Isaiah 37

Feeling spent? 

Remember, it is the seed that falls to the ground that bears fruit.

"...unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, 

it remains only a single seed. 

But if it dies, it produces many seeds."

  John 12:24

Many times, spiritual fruit comes from events and circumstances we would never want or ask for. But, if we will bear it, we will bear His love into the world. Through His love, we can share grace with those experiencing leaner days, and trust He will provide for our needs.  

 

Mary's Peak Hike

Great things are done when men and mountains meet. 

These are not done by jostling in the street. 

~ Streams in the Desert August 25th

A foggy morning, gave way, to the warmth of the sun.

We met a Ranger who shared his love of rocks with us.

Great attitudes graced the trail for our 5 mile hike  (mostly :-)

I found muscles, I haven't used in awhile.

We ate gelato.

We watched Tom and Jerry.
I made applesauce.
We read a little.

We called it a day.  

Learning is for Life, and Life is for Learning

How time flies...

For many, it's once again time to sit at a desk. It's time to share with others and be taught by another. Approaching another school year, we do so humbly. We lean into His grace one day at a time. As well as ask for grace, from teachers and principles, as we pull for activities outside the classroom, and work hard inside the classroom. We are excited about new friends, new knowledge, and new memories. We take each day as it comes, just as we take each year as it comes. 

As we approach school once again, we are pondering these articles as a family during dinner time. 

Jewish Literacy at PBS

Thought provoking, and an example for us all. Speaks to the power of early childhood education.

23 Signs You Might Be an Introvert 

Remembering, group settings can be tougher for some than others.

The Common Core from the NY Times by Charles M Blow

...Great teachers help to activate a small thing that breeds great minds: thirst.

Refugees in our Classrooms (at CNN)

How can we help those in our classrooms who are hard at work learning a new way of life?

Dear Jesus,

May we walk humbly into a new season, asking you to go with us and continually relying on your strength. May we bring peace into our classrooms and a helping hand. May we apply ourselves with diligence to the new knowledge you place before us, and may we use that knowledge to live your compassion and grace. Lord, sustain us, and guide us. Let us remember, oh Lord, "that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of all wisdom" and knowledge. Let us persevere when the days are tough and let us listen well to those around us. Let us ponder deeply your world and your children, that we might live fully who you have created us to be. 

May we remember that school happens in moments when we are teachable, that all life is for learning, and that each family and child, is unique. May we not carry judgement into our classrooms or home school communities. May we lift burdens from others, and help to lighten their load in and through the participation of community. 

Above all Lord, may we make you Lord this year. You alone, are God. Forgive us when we make education, the arts, and the sciences our gods. Through these fields of study, may we see the beauty of your creation and handiwork. Help us, not to worship knowledge, but to worship you. For you alone, are the source of all knowledge, wisdom, and grace. 

Amen

Blessings to you this school year,

Kim

Water Birth

When you pass through the waters,  I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers,  they will not sweep over you. ~ Isaiah 43:2

The water beckons me come. The memory of the womb, lies deep within. The water soothes me, gently lapping at lovely memories. The water and womb, a place where my chatter and chaos meets calm.

There are barriers to be crossed for sure. But, barriers, when crossed, birth us.

The water lapping against the piers, is just now, gentle. But some days the waves rage and the land disappears. There is only the wave, but it shall not consume. Though the barrier of the bar must be crossed, hold onto that wave. Ride it out. Ride it high. Trust. He who made the wave, will take you and I to shore. A shore in which we might hold our head up, and discover a new and distant land.

Ride the wave. Ride it high. 

~ Kim